Because, Yes… Quite Frankly… Too Lazy to Eat

I’m always on the lookout for the most convenient, least time consuming breakfast on the planet. Well… at least, I have lofty dreams of finding something I 1.) Want to eat and 2.) Have plenty of time to work on real projects during/after eating. I’m pretty sure the ideal would probably be a gastric tube of some kind. I could type, and nutri-ate at the same time.

I’ve converted my lunch hour into useable time by shoving a bar or two into my purse instead of getting actual food, and now, I’m moving on.

I ordered a case of Soylent off the internet.

Coffiest flavor, for those who are curious.

This is a meal-replacement of a non-weightloss variety. It’s 400 calories a bottle, with nifty vitamins, and well… in this particular version… coffee.

Of a cold and bitter variety.

It’s basically… well… edible.

And caffeinated.

The world around me appreciates me drinking caffeine in all its glorious forms. It’s amazing how much less bitchy my coffee makes them.

We’ll see how my bottled breakfast makes me feel in a couple of weeks. I expect the low sugar (did I mention bitter) and the absence of other sweeteners (bitter!) might make it a good choice.

So, I’m Going To Drown…

I went ahead and bought a neti pot. It’s one of those maybe it’ll help ideas that I’ve been toying with on and off for a while. On the one hand, it’s a really cool idea. In one nostril, out the other, and all kinds of pollens and allergens down the drain. It probably can’t hurt, and it might even help. The people who like it really do like it. The people who don’t already drowned, so they don’t get a vote.

The thin, dry air at the writers’ conference is probably what pushed me over the final bump, along with the idea of some recent studies that correlate antihistamines with Alzheimer’s disease. (And actually, this does make since to me, since Alzheimer’s appears about twice as often in women, and guess what one of the ingredients in Midol is, so goodbye, little pink pills.)

I had a friend… well, okay, he was maybe more of a two-legged house pet… or… class mascot or something… Uhm… well, I digress.

Once upon a time, I knew a boy who was able to insert the ink-tube from a ball point pen into his nose all the way up to the nib, so he’d look pretty much like he’d shoved the whole pen into his nose.

That’s really pretty much everything I remember about him.

Pretty sure Neti Pots can’t get lost in my sinus cavity.

**Crosses fingers**

I am pulling apart the recently finished, pared down, and still necessary scenes from my last butcher job, and adding them to the scenes that I found entirely missing.

I’m not sure what I have left, but it looks as though my word count will come out sane, at this point.