He caught up with her after lunch, outside the restaurant where they’d had their first date. He’d scraped together a little cash–enough for a drink or two–but he was relieved when he didn’t have to spend it. His last job had been a while.
“Well?” he asked.
Kathy shifted her weight. “Well, what?” she said.
“Well, I heard…” He tried not to look at her, not to give her that prying, downward glance that he associated with gossip and old women. “Are you pregnant?”
“About three months.”
He couldn’t think of anything else to say, and maybe that was the right thing. Maybe it wasn’t. There wasn’t a lot of enthusiasm in it. And in other circumstances–in the olden days–people might be congratulating him.
Kathy looped her arm through his, and smiled a little. Cautious. “I’m going to ask Will and Patrick to be the fathers,” she said, as if giving the contract to someone else were nothing. “They’re good with kids.”
“Do you think they’ll do it?” he asked.
“Probably.” From the tone of her voice, he suspected the thing was done, that the contract was signed, and that Will and Patrick already were the fathers. “They’ve been together for five years. Their careers are going well. Their mothers want grandchildren.”
Responsible and stable. Reliable. A good choice, by any standard. They didn’t smoke, and Patrick didn’t even drink.
He absorbed the information with all the dignity he’d practiced. “What about me?”
Kathy tensed. “You’re not father material.”
“Yeah. I know. But…” He wished he had a cigarette, or maybe something stronger. “It’s my kid.”
“No.” She dug in. “It’s my kid. I’m the one who’s knocked up. I’m making the choices.”
“I know that.”
“I’m not offering you a contract. That was never on the table.” She pulled her hand back, and folded her arms across her stomach. “You’re not going to be a father.”
The way she said it pissed him off, even though he already knew. Maybe she would have told him, before, if she’d had a chance. He’d stood her up twice in the last month. The first time, he was hung over, and the second… he was playing drums in a dive bar for cash under the table. A contract? No.
He didn’t have any qualifications.
And the houseplant she’d given him had been dead for months.
“I like babies,” he said.
“Everyone likes babies.”
“I’ll get a job,” he said.
Kathy nodded, but he could tell she didn’t believe him anymore.
“Will and Patrick are a great choice,” he said, after there wasn’t anything left to say. They kept walking, and eventually, they got back to her office building.
“I’ll need your medical history.”
Kathy looked at her watch. “I have to go back,” she said. She stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. “You should stop by, sometime. Maybe take the kid to a carnival, or something. Throw some balls. You’d be a pretty good fun uncle.”
He nodded. “I’ll do that.”
He didn’t know when, but he would. It sounded like fun, and maybe the kid would look like him.