About Masculinity

I’d like to be able to claim it’s my own depth and intelligence that got me onto this subject, but let’s be honest. It’s those soaps.

I’m caught somewhere between laughing and crying. I’m trying to figure out just what a lap dance smells like–body glitter and strawberry body spray?–and I still haven’t thought of a single manly combination that doesn’t have me rolling on the floor.

What do I think a man should smell like? Honestly? Just pick something that doesn’t make me sneeze. My preference? As little as possible.

But step slowly away from the soaps.

Masculinity is a tough subject.

And it’s a subject that’s everywhere. One of my coworkers just asked her grandson what color he wanted to paint his room. And he did NOT get what he wanted. (Pink.)

Let’s be honest. There is no color of paint that will make a three year old even a tiny bit manly. Camouflage and blood spatter? Uhm… nope. Still three.


1.)  Masculinity is achieved. It is a variant of adulthood. Nobody is born a man.


2.) Not everybody who is born male makes the cut.

Don’t get me wrong. Most of them wind up male enough, but the vast majority of them will never be able to kill a bobcat with their bare teeth.

This is where I usually get tangled up talking about Masculinity. #2. Not everybody who is born male will achieve the ideal of Masculinity.

I may be defining a word using itself, right there.

Or maybe, the word has just become increasingly complicated by the modern world. Masculinity=the traits attributed to the ideal man.

That was pretty simple, back in caveman days.

InterviewerWhat’s your ideal man? 

Cave-Woman: I don’t care. Whatever one’s going to keep that saber-toothed tiger from eating me.

Modern Woman: No idea, but he sure as hell better not be wearing pink, and I hope he smells like body glitter and strawberry body spray a lap dance.

Clearly, the whole subject requires more thought. And research. I’ll watch a few Jason Statham movies and get back to you.


  1. Reply

    I think it takes a more manly man to smell like body glitter and strawberry body spray! That’s a whole other level of confidence right there.

    • Reply

      Of course, it could be a whole other level of sneaky, too. “Strip club? Of course not, darling. You know that’s just my *Man* Hands brand strawberry glitter soap.

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