Sometimes, it’s all in the execution. A nice, family recipe book. There can’t be more than a couple hundred unique words in the whole thing. What could possibly go wrong?

I’ll tell you what could go wrong.

You could include a pre-printed space for the recipient to write “reviews” of family recipes. That’s what could go wrong. Yup. There. Right under the photo of the macaroni and cheese. That’s space for the icy cold hand of death to pan grandma’s famous Velveeta shells.

There is no “safe” way to review family recipes.

I don’t know where you’d even keep a book like that. Safe deposit box at the bank? Under the mattress next to Grandpa’s latest copy of Tractors and Trollops? Buried in a lead-lined bunker with the rest of the toxic waste that threatens all of human existence?

Maybe Ed and Lorraine Warren will take it off your hands.

If you would like to die a horrible death (or know someone else who should) you can buy the book here: https://www.uncommongoods.com/product/my-family-cookbook

It’s not an affiliate link. I just can’t take responsibility for any part of what will happen.