The Times, They Are A–What the Fuuuuu-?!!

Ah, Hanes. Purveyors of economy underwear and socks in bulk… Well, it was bound to come to this. We have face masks by the box. Obviously, I bought a box. Black and white. I got black. The white ones seem just a little too much like wearing underpants on my face. There’s the part of

How to Fully Reopen the Public Schools By 2026

The first step in reopening schools is figuring out what the actual, mathematical 6-foot social distanced capacity of the school is. Add a margin for error–or for children pretending to be dinosaurs. Room by room. If everything runs perfectly, how many children can be in this room? What if it doesn’t go perfectly? Guess what?

Why, Yes… the Midwest IS Different.

I just did the most small-town thing ever. As I was flipping through my spam filter, looking for anything that was falsely flagged–well, you never know–I came across an invoice for “The Other Karen.” “The Other Karen” is a lady from the state next door, who happens to have an email address that is one

Luncheon With the Future Mrs. You Bastard

In one of the more misguided social-distancing efforts, tables have been removed from the break room, and chairs have been removed from the tables that are left. That would be all fine and good, but the truth of the matter is that it forces people to sit together (even when they wouldn’t have, before) and

The Social Event of the Pandemic

I went to the grocery store today. It was a big occasion. My first standalone grocery store trip since the beginning of the pandemic. Usually, I get groceries after work. Not today. Today, the refrigerator hit zero, and I was forced to make a special trip. You know. A trip where I get up, and

Online Writers’ Conferences: My Writing Community Wish List

One of the big things I’m hoping will come out of the pandemic and self-isolation is more internet-based writing conferences and book events. People have certainly tried to build writers’ conferences in Nebraska… but they never seem to take. The Nebraska Summer Writers’ Conference had a good run, but it’s been on hiatus for a

Getting Out of the House, Pandemic Style

There’s no anticipation quite so tedious as waiting for a package as it crosses the United States. Sometimes, I could swear the United Parcel Service is mocking me. “Your package left Bethesda, Maryland at 2:46 PM on Tuesday. Now, it’s in Alaska.” I am… eventually… getting a new sleeping bag. It’s a warm-weather bag somewhere

Bullet journal bookmark-schedule

Bullet Journal: Daily Routines and Long-Term Goals

Bullet journal or not, I’ve always had problems with the shift in schedule between the days I work, and the days I don’t. Now that I can’t go out on weekends or after work, it’s even worse. Yup. There’s something about looking at a clock that says “ass crack of dawn” and actually getting up

Smoke and Virus Patrol

It is spring, and the farmers in Kansas are burning their fields. Air quality advisories for miles around, half way across all the neighboring states. Dry coughs all around. How do you tell an old lady she smells? It’s bad every year, and worse, now that every cough and tickle foreshadows a lingering painful death.

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