Ha! I’m not the only one who collects rejections.

I’m working on the most perfect-est query letter in the world right now, and obviously, I’m hoping for success. I’m spelling things correctly, and even punctuating them. I’m also measuring out the exact right amount of glitter to go on the hand-drawn hopeful-unicorn’s wings. (Most guidelines suggest  3.27 grams. I don’t know why.)

In all seriousness, though, I fully expect to add to my rejection collection. It’s all just par for the course.

So, today I bring you this guy… who collects rejections recreationally. (Good looking, funny, and a tireless crusader for that ideal “burger refill.”)


  1. Reply

    I see you’ve been reading bad glitter advice. It’s sad – so many good queries ruined by the wrong amount of glitter. It’s 5.27 grams you want, not 3.27. Using 3.27 will instantly brand you as an amateur.

    All the best with your querying!

    • Reply

      Thanks for speaking up! I’d have been so humiliated, if someone thought I didn’t care because I didn’t send enough glitter.

      • Reply

        You’re welcome. There’s so much bad advice on glitter in querying out there, you need to be really careful which bits you take to heart.

  2. Reply

    As a complement to the above advice on glitter, I might say that it’s vital also to get the dimensions of the unicorn’s wings exactly right. Good luck! My fingers are crossed (at the right angle, of course).

    • Reply

      Dimensions? I’m not even sure I’ve got the shape of the unicorn’s wings right. Do you think they’ll mind if I just send a small medley of unicorns, and let them pick?

      • Reply

        I worry that will give the impression that you don’t know the proper shape and dimension for unicorn wings. It would be almost like writing “Dear/Deer (choose which you prefer) Agent”.

        • Reply

          Suddenly, the performance art option seems so much simpler. Any idea where I can get a good bargain on sea-green body paint?

  3. Reply

    Sea-green body paint is out this season. The deer agent would like to see the unicorn of the dyfferent variety. He said your chances are as excellent as the chance of those who know glitter, unicorn wing dimensions, and the defiant unicorn of the purple planet.

    You have talent, explore the possibilities.

    • Reply

      If I change the color of paint, and add some tap dance… will you participate in the grand finale? We’ll be juggling chainsaws.

    • Reply

      Congratulations! I know it’s a bittersweet accomplishment, but at least you’re putting your stuff out there.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: