I spent most of today working on a “free upgrade” which is supposed to make my internet faster, better, stronger than before. By “free upgrade” what’s actually meant is, please, can we get this over with before it’s made mandatory? And “By the way, we may have to re-wire your entire house.”

Cue the weeping and gnashing of teeth.

We are not going to rewire the house.

Because we are not going to pull out plaster, wood paneling, and possibly a wall or two.

Not over internet, anyway.

The guy was here for four hours. Plus or minus some time spent climbing poles down the street.

He’s a nice guy. Professional. Knows what he’s doing.

Actually, the perfect guy to do a free internet upgrade.

The house tried to kill him.

Seventy-year old house, two different standards of wiring, and several walls, ceilings, and plaster–as in lathe and, not plasterboard–which were not there when the wiring went in. Also… did I mention the electric and the (now-defunct) cable television all come into the house at the same point.

(specifically, a storage room, and more specifically than that, a corner where the ceiling has been cut away to make room for the wiring?)

Suffice it to say the phone technician was not putting his hands in that.

Well, I can’t say I blame him. It is a jumble of wires.

So, he took the active phone line off wire standard one, connected it through the other, newer wires, and then connected the other jacks in the house by means of a funky little splice between what used to be two separate phone lines. (By that point, I think it was more a point of pride than anything else.) And yes, he left that open, just in case the next person needs to get to it.

Because there is going to be a next person. If all goes well, I should be able to pop the cover back on the other phone jack, and not deal with it again. If today’s thing worked, the next person will be an outdoor person. If not…

There are worse things in the world.

I can’t think of any of them, right now.