Of Old Men and Small Towns

I work with the public, so I get hit on all the time. (Well, some… Okay. More than I’d like.)

It’s not because I’m hot stuff. (I’m not.) It’s because I’m paid to be nice to people, and because there’s a rumor going around the senior center that if you can keep it up long enough to have sex with a woman, she has to cook you breakfast. With Texas Toast and everything.

And, honestly, I think once a man hits eighty or ninety, he’s aware that you’re not actually going to slap him.

I have one old fellow who routinely informs me that if I were his woman, he’d never take me out of bed… unless there was more room on the floor.

I’m not sure whether that’s because he’s persistent, or because he doesn’t remember the last time. Either way, I know he’s just in it for my grandmother’s liver and onions recipe. (Yes, he and his wife used to eat at my grandparents’ diner. Yes. When I was eight. No, I’m not actually sure he connects grown-up me with eight-year-old me.)

His wife died about six months ago. So, I asked myself what she would do. And then I arranged for him to have a ride to Catholic church so he can get more Catholic Jesus in his life. (And hopefully, a little St. Jerome, too.) Small towns have their privileges.


  1. A.S. Akkalon


    Ick ick ick! That’s so creepy. There are very good reasons I avoid the public whenever I can. Though I admit I’m impressed by your solution – he does sound like he needs more Catholic Jesus in his life.

    • Reply

      It’s more than a shot in the dark. I happen to know he is Catholic. And they are equipped to help him, if he needs it.

  2. Reply

    I’m impressed. You gave a man a literal “Come to Jesus” talk. Working with the public is THE ACTUAL WORST, I’m sorry 🙁 I can’t even count how many times I got hit on working as a busgirl/hostess. Thankfully I work as a teacher now and mostly I get asked if I’d like the rest of a half-eaten animal cookie, or a booger (the answer is always no).

    • Reply

      LOL. Actually, what I did was to **discretely** mention to some of my (male) friends who go to his church that the old guy is feeling a little lonely since his wife died, and ask them to be sure he gets a ride to anything that’s going on over there.

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