The Times, They Are A–What the Fuuuuu-?!!

Ah, Hanes. Purveyors of economy underwear and socks in bulk… Well, it was bound to come to this. We have face masks by the box. Obviously, I bought a box. Black and white. I got black. The white ones seem just a little too much like wearing underpants on my face. There’s the part of

How to Fully Reopen the Public Schools By 2026

The first step in reopening schools is figuring out what the actual, mathematical 6-foot social distanced capacity of the school is. Add a margin for error–or for children pretending to be dinosaurs. Room by room. If everything runs perfectly, how many children can be in this room? What if it doesn’t go perfectly? Guess what?

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