Unproposing Marriage, and other Emily Post Moments

I was thinking about an old friend, today. No reason. Except… uhm… maybe the latest blockbuster murder brought it up.

Specifically, the question was… how long would it take my grade school era best friend to kill me, if we had gotten married?

Okay. So, he’d probably (almost certainly) pick a healthier alternative to murder. Nevertheless, the question stands. If you’re one of those unfortunate kids whose parents call the first boy you ever threw a green bean at your “boyfriend”, how long until you figure out that being good friends doesn’t necessarily make him the ONE?

It’s romantic when people who were best friends as kids grow up and get married and live happily ever after…

But what about the ones who don’t?

(No, really, he couldn’t murder me. He would never get past deciding on a weapon, once he realized that writing down all the pros and cons would be evidence.)

How do you get from a world where people have been assuming you will, eventually, get married to a world where… you won’t?

I knew a few long-term, dated since middle school couples. I can’t remember how the relationships that ended did end. Do you move away? Go to separate colleges? Have one of those awkward conversations? How do you unpropose to someone who fully expects you to marry them? Okay. Yes. I remember one horribly awkward conversation, as relayed by the recipient of the unproposal. There’s gotta be a better way.

There’s something about the idea that “serious” can creep up on you. One day, you’re just throwing a green bean at someone who truly deserves it, and then, suddenly, you realize you’ve been “dating” for years. **shudder**

Okay. Yeah. The Post-Traumatic Familial Meddling Stress is getting to me.

2 Comments

  1. Lita

    Reply

    I hadn’t realised how lucky I was. When I was twelve, the first and only boy I green beaned…ducked.

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