I watched What to Expect When You’re Expecting today. I’m not expecting, and those things I do know about childbirth? Well, I’m pretty sure I learned them from a Ridley Scott movie. I did give a pregnant woman some popcorn a couple weeks ago, so let’s all just stipulate that I’ve done my bit.

What to Expect When You’re Expecting is one of those books. Perennial favorites. Every few years, they update the cover just enough to make the pregnant person more stylish, and keep right on selling it. I can close my eyes and picture exactly where it lives in my bookstore.

The thing is… there isn’t that much of a plot.

I was dying of curiosity. How the hell do they make a movie out of that?

Well, it doesn’t follow the book too closely.

First, you add characters. Then you put the characters in scenarios from What to Expect… Plus or minus some familial drama.

It’s not a bad movie, all said and done. The pregnancies in it are a little less sugar-coated than we’re used to seeing in movies. None of them resulted in a litter of puppies, and I found that to be a little disappointing. It’s not like it was a documentary, after all.